Parent's Video Blog (VLOG) 12.09.10

A parent update from Pastor Jon and Intern Isaac on our "Do You Hear" series on hearing the voice of God amidst the chaos of the season. We want you to hear what is going on at H2O & what we are teaching, because you may just not be hearing it at home from your student.

12 Days of Christmas Parenting - Growing Gratitude

Growing Gratitude in Your Teens at Christmas
Not too long ago, we celebrated Thanksgiving. This is the time when many parents work vigorously to get their kids to "count their blessings" when really, they're consumed with food, cousins and video games. So how do we cultivate generosity at Christmas time?

It would be easy to become very cliché and even cheesy at this point, to merely talk about what we're thankful for and promise to be more grateful. I think the best way to generate gratitude is to go without something. We never appreciate something fully until we don't have it.

Try this.

Sit down with your kids and talk over the idea of gratitude. Together, choose a day that week where every member in the family goes without any drinks. None. No soft drinks, lemonade or water. (I know that sounds extreme, but I just did this not too long ago as a dad.) No doubt, everyone will be thirsty by the end of the day... if not before.

Plan a little gathering before bedtime and talk over how each of you felt. Discuss when it was toughest for you during the day to not sneak to the refrigerator and grab a Gatorade. Then, visit the website for Charity Water. (www.charitywater.org) They are a non-profit organization that provides water to communities around the world that don't have clean drinking water. Forget Coke or Dr. Pepper—many don't even have water! Do you realize that almost a billion people on the planet don't have access to clean drinking water? Unsafe water and a lack of basic sanitation causes 80% of all diseases and kills more people than all forms of violence, including war.

Now, decide what your family can do to help those who have no clean drinking water to get some. You will notice on the website that $20 provides clean water for one person, for twenty years. Talk about what each family member can do to chip in and help.

Then, talk about the little things in our life that we take for granted every day—like water—and choose one action each of you will take to express your gratitude for that gift from God.

"In everything give thanks for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus." (I Thessalonians 5:18)

Blog by: Tim Elmore



12 Days of Christmas Parenting - Growing Patience

Growing Patience

Patience is a virtue. At least, that’s what they say. I say it’s a rare gem. Few of us have much of it in our day and culture. And our kids? They’re growing up with a “Google Reflex” expecting everything to come instantly — answers to questions, food, text replies, favorite songs… you name it.

This immediate gratification thing is even worse during the holidays. It’s just hard to wait. For all of us. Christmas, however, is supposed to be a time of waiting and anticipation — just like it was in Bethlehem. (Remember, Christ was born after four hundred years of God’s silence.)

Try this.

Sit down with your teen(s) and talk over this idea of “waiting.” Discuss how hard it is for everyone. Even adults. Talk about how people through history had to wait long periods for almost anything valuable. Then, talk about how impatient people are today. (Remember Target shoppers getting trampled on Black Friday at 4:00 am?) Finally, have a conversation about how your family could build a little patience in each member during the holiday season.

For instance, for the remaining days in December, leading up to Christmas, you could offer a dollar-a-day for each of your kids who can last the longest without complaining or becoming impatient about how long Christmas is taking. (Remind the young ones — 18 days means $18 dollars!) The ability to delay gratification is a sure sign of maturity in kids.

I have a friend whose twelve-year-old son, Nick, wanted a popular video game. It was sure to sell out on the first weekend it was released. Nick begged him to let him get it — although he didn’t have enough money. My friend did a wise thing. He said, “Son, I will pay for this video game so we can get it today. However, I will hold on to it until you can pay for it with your own money. This way, you know for sure you won’t miss out on it, but you’ll learn to appreciate it by waiting until you can really afford it. It was one of the greatest lessons Nick learned that year. He told me so.

“Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient until it gets the early and late rains. You, too, be patient; strengthen your hearts…” (James 5:7-8)

What are some things you’ve done to help grow patience in your kids? Do you see this as an important virtue?

Blog by: Tim Elmore

12 Days of Christmas Parenting - Growing Generosity in Your Kids at Christmas

Growing Generosity in Your Kids at Christmas
Ahhh, Christmas. It just may be the most wonderful time of the year. Every year, however, parents are reminded of how much our culture has impacted the minds of our children. For instance, we all talk about Christmas being a time of giving — but let’s face it, the first thing kids want to do in December is to make their own Christmas list of what they’ll get, not give.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/nautilus_shell_studios

So here’s an idea.

First, why not start a tradition. Along with creating their own “wish list,” your kids make out a list of the gifts they plan to give away to others. This could include people they know and perhaps people they don’t know. The gifts can be ones they buy with their own money, or some of their own possessions they treasure.

Let’s take it a step further. What if for every gift they put on their wish list, they have to match it with a gift they plan to give away—one of their own toys, dolls, electronic devices, or games? This may just balance their “giving and receiving” experience a bit more. Then, they select a family less fortunate, and make an anonymous drop-off to that family. (Remember “ding dong ditch”?)

I know of a mom and dad who had their kids go through all their toys one December and make two piles. The first pile would include the toys they planned on giving away; the second, toys they felt were worth keeping. (This made room for the new toys they’d soon receive on Christmas.)

The clincher was, this mom and dad talked about sacrificial giving, and shared how they planned to give one of their cars to a needy family. Then, they had their children give away the pile of toys they had planned to keep.

Sacrifice is true generosity. It was hard for a few moments, but unforgettable in the end. Those kids still talk about that incredible experience four years later.

Jesus reminds us: “This poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned” (Mark 12:43-44).

Question: What can you do this Christmas to teach generosity to your kids? 

BLOG by: Dr. Tim Elmore

3 Types of Parenting

Have you ever really thought about your parenting style? Most of us tend to parent like our parents did. Sometimes we think we are parenting one way but the reality is something else.

It benefits yourself as a parent, and especially your teens, to discover what your parenting style is. The reason for that is it forces you to consider if you are leaning too far one way than another. It may reveal that you need a little more balance in your parenting.

“There are basically three styles of parenting. They are: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative.

Authoritarian parenting is when you find a need to be in control. Parents who are authoritarian tend to be strict and rigid. There is little room for error and typically don’t allow children to question them. In other words, there is no democracy in this type of setting.

Permissive parenting is when control has been handed over to the children. They get to make their own decisions with very little input from the parents. There are no set boundaries and even when the child does something wrong there is little, if any, consequence to their actions.

Authoritative parenting is a balance between the other two styles. Children have expectations but they are also given reasons for why those expectations are in place. They are taught to take personal responsibility for their actions but may face consequences for wrong choices.

Which style sounds more like you? Think about how you’re teen feels about your parenting style. If you are authoritarian they may be afraid to tell you things. Don’t we want our teens to open up to us? They may feel like their lives are so controlled that the first moment they can break free, they are going to do it with a vengeance.

If you are permissive, your teens may feel afraid. They are given too much freedom and although it may appear they enjoy it, deep down inside they are not mature enough to handle that. They may also feel that you don’t really care as a parent.

A teen with an authoritative parent probably feels secure and comfortable in their world. They know that there are rules and expectations and they understand why they are in place. They may not always agree with them but they at least know what to expect. They appreciate being able to make some of their own choices and learning from their own mistakes. Yet they also appreciate that their parents are a soft place to land when their world crumbles.

Take some time to really think about your parenting style. Are there any changes you would like to make?”

We hope this helps you parent your teen better.

(article from varying sources. You can google “3 types of parenting” to find a few)